I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
