whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
