as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
