My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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