I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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