Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
