there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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