i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
