If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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