spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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