we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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