kristin has been a bad kristin
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
