How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
