you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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