And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
