my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Two words: nipple clamps
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