I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
