You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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