What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I touched a dick in church today
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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