Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
