I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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