I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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