Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We got so high we made milksteak
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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