His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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