i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
