apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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