I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
