Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
