Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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