You made me cry and you don't even care
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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