I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
