we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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