It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
