Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
