turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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