You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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