Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
