I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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