don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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