Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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