Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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