I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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