i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
