no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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