i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
