all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
