Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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