Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
