He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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