You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Let's paint friendship bongs
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
