He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
