you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
